The Art of Miscommunication
I think we can all agree that communication is key to a successful relationship rather it be marriage, significant others, siblings, or parents. Having a lack of communication skills can cause friendships to fail as well.
We’ve all been in this situation: Someone said something to you the wrong way. You, in turn, over-react, blow the situation way out of proportion and before you know it your relationship with that person is going down the tubes. All while the person who spoke in the “wrong way” has no idea what they did wrong. There’s a chance that they really didn’t say anything wrong at all. Maybe it’s you- Or, maybe it really is them and they need to work on their own communication skills. It’s a two-way street. Relationships take effort, lots and lots of effort. Without communication, it’s just a matter of time before you hit that unavoidable speed bump that is communication woes.
Maybe that’s not even the issue. Maybe you talk in circles in your relationship. Always saying the same thing; always getting the same result. Or maybe you’re tired of having someone hear what you say but not know what you mean. Maybe those conversations create negative feelings and great frustration.
My husband I have been married for going on 8 years. We’ve got the house on a hill, the cars, the kids, and even the dog. All but that picket fence you see in the movies. Looking from the outside you may say that we are the perfect family…
We have issues. We have communication issues that have resulted in anger, frustration, sadness which sometimes led to tears. We have made choices that have affected us long term because of the lack of this important skill. A lot of times I personally am seeking a certain result in my interactions but end up getting the quite opposite that I was going for. This is just with my husband.
With my children, the errors in our communication we’re making the already rocky relationship with a pre-teen even more troublesome. With my youngest daughter and her high level of sensitivity there was always a high risk of something I was saying coming off harsh. Honestly, the way I was communicating, it probably wasn’t that far off base.
Looking back now, my husband and I always had some trouble communicating. Misunderstandings and frustration was second nature to us. Over the years our problems only grew bigger and deeper until it was too much and we got serious about looking for answers. We did therapy for a while and it worked pretty well. It was nice to have someone from the outside looking in to either be your advocate- or sometimes be your adversary.
Conflicts in schedules started to be a problem for us and marriage counseling availability. That’s when I searched the internet for something we could do at home. I stumbled upon Gary Chapman’s Now You’re Speaking my Language and I have got to say…. This is an AWESOME book! It has not only helped with my stubbornness in communicating, it has helped with my husband’s, “I’m always right attitude.”
Even though this book was written for married couples, this book has greatly helped both my husband and me with the relationships with our children, individually. We have learned how to be more understanding and patient with our youngest daughters needs and become clearer in our expectations with our oldest daughter; As well as ending the dreaded cycle of circle-talking. This book has really helped us. Maybe it will help you or someone you know. Get it today and Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial to get 2 day shipping for for free!
Comment below and tell me what you think!